Tag: introspective

California love.

So, I left home, to go back home. If that doesn’t make sense, let me go backwards a bit. I left the place I’ve lived for almost 25 years to go back to the place I grew up in.

I went back for a high school reunion, but I also wanted to see my people. The notion that I was on vacation to do things went by the wayside as I realized that I was incorrect. I was not here to go places, I was there to see people.

“I’m going to Amoeba Music! I’m going to LACMA! I’m going to the La Brea Tar Pits!”

No the bleep I was not.

It’s a great problem to have, that. To be in demand to a point where you can’t do things because you have all of these people who want to make time to see you. And I had five days to do it.

I ate great and laughed long. What more could there be to this? We talked about life, adulting, the things we’re doing and want to be doing, a world of imagination and the one we have to deal with in this reality.

I ate outside whenever possible, and soaked up as much sun as I could; we have Vitamin D deficiencies in the Midwest, you know. Had to soak up as much sun and warmth as possible; the day is coming where I’ll have neither.

The place I knew is largely gone; I don’t live in my old house, a lot of the places I used to go to aren’t there anymore, and I really have to come to grips with the fact that there’s nothing still there but my memories. But that can’t stop me from making new memories. Isn’t that a side effect of aging gracefully?

Maybe next year I’ll be able to go to the museums and such…or, maybe, I’ll get caught up again and spend my days with people I love. Why not both, though? We shall see.

Posted on by ~tbg~

A word on evangelicals.

Really quickly…

The Louisiana House of Reps has mandated that the Ten Commandments be posted in every classroom, yet they’ve cut funding for school lunches. A woman’s right to choose is imperiled. The notion of no-fault divorce is being actively targeted as a symptom of a society gone amuck, with all the womenfolk leaving these good mens!

And yet Jesus is parroted. They yell about the vengeance of God, and how He will cause ruination because this country has lost its way.

But what happened to a loving God? What happened to a God you’re eager to serve, who gives you all these great things? What is a God you fear, lest He get angry and turn Boston into a pillar of salt? Where are examples of God’s love, besides His grudging acceptance of our existence which, if you MUST know, he can wipe out at any time?

I’m a lapsed Southern Baptist, and it’s not lost on me that the convention is now voting and will most likely approve the disassociation of churches with women in positions of power. I reconcile that with my upbringing, where the verse “on this rock I will build my church” was largely taken to mean on the backs and through the wallets of the women. This same conservative bloc is behind a lot of this fiction that things were better when women shut up and had babies, the Negroes just sang memorable songs, and we were at war with everyone else.

But, as we’ve learned, telling people to hate and fear others has a lot of legs. Lot of energy and results can come out of it a lot more than love. “Hate thy neighbor” gets asses moving faster than “love thy neighbor.” Collective action derided, because “real men do things themselves; real adults don’t ask for help!” All the while mental health declines because people are trying to work out the contradictions. “How can I feel lonely when everyone tells me to do things by myself? Why do I call these people friends when I don’t really know them?”

A lot is wrong in this country, but a lot of it is not from external forces. Maybe, when it comes down to it, the country founded on these lofty ideals can’t live up to them. Is it better to just stop pretending, or continue the charade?

Posted on by ~tbg~

To manifest.

The goals of this here space are multifold.

To be able to write thoughts on things going on, both on a macro (the world around me) and the micro (personal) level.

To put together some thoughts that I’d like to turn into a collection at some point. A book, if you will.

To give shine to those who I admire, and I idolize, and who I think are doing good work, creatively or personally. 

To get these things out of my head. Because if something happens to me, I’d like someone to have a record of who I was and where I was mentally. History is written by the hunter, sure, but if only the lion could have writtenm somewhere, that the hunter is holding his cub hostage, maybe you’ll think about that hunter a bit differently…

Let’s go.

Posted on by ~tbg~