A fun thing I’ve done recently is ask friends of mine if they feel like a Chicagoan.

These people have been here around 20+ years -I just realized that this year marks my 30th year In the Chicago area – and I have to ask the question. Do they feel “real”? What entails that? When did you get that feeling? What does a “real” Chicagoan do, or feel?

Besides the funny retorts – “a real Chicagoan puts no ketchup on their hot dog, hates going to O’Hare, and idolizes the ’85 Bears” – the question is a ponderous one.

Thing is, almost to a person, all of the people like me, who moved here in early adulthood, say that they consider themselves a Chicagoan…but not to born-and-raised Chicagoans. They have no problem telling their friends and family in other places that they are a Chicagoan, and thusly well versed in the city’s culture, happenings, and ephemera, but they cede the title of “real Chicagoans” to people born and raised here.

And I find that really telling. Myself, I was born a Comptonite, a Los Angeleno, a Californian. In the 30 years I’ve been in Chicago, I’ve gone back five times. But yet, I still feel weird about calling myself a Chicagoan to locals. I’m far removed from the goings on in my hometown, but I am still a part of its fabric somehow. And I would think I’m more ingrained here, but I struggled to figure out why I couldn’t own up to such.

Thing is, I get it now. I didn’t go to high school here. I didn’t hang out on State Street or 79th or Milwaukee with my friends while I was a teen trying to figure things out. I wasn’t around to savor the air when Harold was running for mayor, or feel the loss when he died. This place didn’t shape my beginning, my formative years, my “how does the world work”, because where I learned all that was 2,000 miles away and very different.

The label is very difficlut to assume because we are surrounded in our daily lives with people who went to school here. Catholic League. The Chicago accents. And while we’ve lived and expanded and nested here, we are not from here, and that makes a huge difference in how a lot of people see themselves.

I love this city, and have a ton of history here. I can go home and say that I’m a Chicagoan. I just know too much about what I missed by not growing up here to say that here.